Blog « Creativity Tribe

Mother’s Day: By Nature or Nurture

On 05/12/2013 / spirituality, womanhood / 5 Comments

Whether you are a mother by nature or nurture, I wish you a beautiful Mother’s Day. Today is the perfect day to honor all the ways you give to others but is especially good for connecting with how you mother yourself during the year.

I have decided to shake Mother’s Day up a bit. Even though I don’t have children, I have always felt an extremely strong sense of Motherhood. I am a champion of children (both young and old) and take pride in the fact that I can create safety for others to be the best they can be. I also feel myself going through the birthing process with all the many projects that are conceived in my heart and imagination.

This year, I decided to start a new personal practice. On Mother’s Day, I am going to celebrate the Mother in me. I don’t have a specific plan. Instead, each year I will check in on what I need. Perhaps it will be to reflect on how I have nurtured others during the year, how I might like to make mothering a part of the year to come, or even to create a celebration with symbols that are meaningful to me.

My husband woke me up this morning telling me, “You have heard of Mother Nature, right? Well, I think you must be Mother Nurture.” It was a dear gift. So whether you are Mother Nature, Mother Nurture or a bit of both, I would like to invite you to join me in honoring the mother in you. I know for many women Mother’s Day is a day to be honored by others, but I think honoring ourselves can be just as valuable.

Keep Creating….

What If This is Life’s Biggest Lesson?!

On 05/10/2013 / Creative Courage, Creative Growth, Creativity / 6 Comments

Earlier this week I shared with you about how some of the difficulties in my life are transforming into wellsprings of beautiful lessons. As often happens, I have heard from friends and colleagues that they too are having significant growth from discovering the gifts that challenging times offer. I just love when the folks around me are “getting” it at the same time I am.

For that very reason, I wanted to share with you some of the ways I am helping that process along. I think we often feel like those parts of our lives have control over us and that we are out of control when they happen, but I am starting to believe that those hard times just might be the most blessing rich times of our lives….if we choose for them to be.

My Tips for Finding the Gifts in Difficulty

Feel the Feelings: There is nothing worse than being in pain, emotional or physical, and never getting to fully have what your are feeling recognized and witnessed. As a Life Coach, this is some of the most important work that I do. However, I have learned over the years that I don’t have to have another person witness my pain, although that is certainly invaluable. When I don’t have that luxury, I give myself permission to express what I am feeling through art, writing, movement, or just by talking to the walls. It may sound crazy, but it helps. I am able to move the energy of those feelings out to make room for a more enlightened perspective. This allows me to grow a deeper understanding of what I am feeling, where it comes from, and what it could possibly transform into that I might never get to if I am unwilling to look at it. In fact, not feeling our feelings can lead to even more discomfort and difficulty.
Softening: At some point in the process of feeling the feelings, I become aware that I have gotten to some of the meat of the issue. For me, I sometimes feel myself pull back from the “feeling session” a bit, there is a lull or a break where I can see from the point of view of the Inner Witness. Instead of pushing out the emotions with strong intent, I will shift into a more receptive stance. For me, this is often the place where transformation can take place. I may find myself at a crossroads where I have a choice to make. Should I stay with the difficulty or encourage myself to move beyond it. Sometimes I have to stay with it a bit longer. That is definitely okay. But, often, I will choose to soften myself, soften my anger or fear and invite something new to come in.
Looking for the Gifts: I learned early on in my life that I could….that we could….. ask to see the gifts of a situation. The more difficult situations can take more willingness to open up to, but those often come with the most meaningful blessings. I have encouraged myself to continue to revisit the potential gifts from the uncomfortable places in my life time and again, and as deep as something can hurt, that is as deep as the gifts go. If a situation has layers of grief, anger, fear, or pain, I discover a morsel of love and goodness with each peeling back. Sometimes the hurt of a situation is so deep that I can go back again and again for decades with new gifts showing themselves.
Claim the Gifts: It isn’t just enough to get a sense of something being good or positive from a difficulty. Just as we find deeper understanding from fully expressing the feeling of hurt, so do we more fully glean the gifts when we name them, when we talk about them, write or draw about them….when we make them real and fleshed out. Claiming our gifts can also be a gift that we give to others because we are modeling a way of living to others that is based on love of self and love of life.
Expressing Gratitude: This is definitely the bonus tip. When we gather a gift from a difficulty, there is an additional grace (or gift) that comes from affirming that the gift would not have been ours had the difficulty not come. Moving into a space of gratitude for the painful situation can inspire even further treasure.

I would love to hear how you have found gifts in your own difficulty or if this list has inspired any ah-ha’s for you. Creativity takes many forms, but this kind of work is the creativity of better living and it is one of my faves.

Keep creating!

Surprise Birthday Gifts

On 05/06/2013 / Creative Growth, Spirit of Giving / 3 Comments

While on my road trip up the middle of America and back again, I had a birthday. I had thought perhaps that I would make a bit to-do about it….because that is how I usually do birthdays on my blog, but instead I was busy getting my car fixed. I made the best of it though….donuts and all!!

I had been staying with my cousin Lori on a communal far just outside of Oklahoma City. On the morning of my birthday, she took me to a donut shop and ambushed me with Happy Birthday at the top of her lungs…solo. I was mortified and delighted all in the same breath…which I am sure is the exact reaction she was hoping for! (This little bird was my car mascot for the trip. Great listener, by the way!)

My birthday passed rather quietly after that. I usually like to spend some time looking back and visioning the year to come, but my attention was on the trouble I was getting fixed on my car and the 4 hour drive to at night to my next destination, Springfield, MO.

Back to the Gifts

The work GIFT is one of my words for 2013. It serves as a theme that I can focus on for self-exploration. This last week, I have been working on understanding some of the more difficult areas of my life. Why now? Well, life has a way of doing a bit of Spring cleaning from time to time. Now is my time. Difficulites…..We all have them, the things we always come back to or that pop up multiple times over the course of our life. It might be self-esteem, an old story about ourselves we hold onto, a fear we just can’t kick.

The difficult areas I am working on are about limitations that I have perceived in my life. Some of them are physical limitations, others emotional….sometimes they are relational and even mental. Some are stories about myself that were told to me when I was very young that I continued to believe. Some stories about about what it means to be a woman in this society or to grow older as a woman. Some are of my own invention, some circumstantial.

Over the last week or so, I have been challenging the limitations. I think having driven to the other side of the country on my own has given me a new perspective on life. (Seriously, some days I am shocked that I did that. And never once since I got back have I regretted it!) My new perspective isn’t just on life as it is, but I am looking back over my life and attempting to re-story-ing it.

I am specifically looking for aspects of my story that were overlooked before. One of my mentors, Dr. Rose Knippa, has been visiting with me about how life is always in balance or moving back into balance…..and how we often don’t see it as such. So I have been going back to look for how life was balanced when I didn’t see it as such.

For example, I discovered this week that one of the most difficult and painful parts of my life, losing my mom when I was 21, significantly shaped who I am today. I have felt the limitations of it for a long time, and sometimes I could glimpse that good things came from it. But this week I am more fully tapping into the many gifts my mom’s early death has brought to me and how I use those gifts with my clients. Her death sent me looking for answers about pain management which sent me to massage school. It sent me to study counseling and shapes my coaching practice. It helps me to understand first hand the stages of grief, the process of dying, and the family dynamics that can shift as a result. Her death was the catalyst for my shift towards visual art and has been the subject of most of my art journaling over the years. More than anything, it has taught me that death isn’t the end. Even when someone dies, there is an alive-ness to what was between you and them that can grow. You might call it cultivated memory or a spiritual relationship. Whatever it is, it has been essential to the peace I am finding with her passing as I grow older.

I just don’t know who I would be had I not had this extreme event to weave into my being. For most of my life, I would not have even imagined that I might say I am grateful for her passing. I would prefer that she be alive and happy, right here beside me. AND. I am grateful for the gifts that came from her death. This week more than any in my life, I can see what those gifts are.

Later this week….

I want to share with you how I am moving from disgruntled about the difficulties in life to grateful. In the meantime, I invite you to begin looking for the gifts you might have tucked away in your life that could make the hard times the most valuable times in you life.

Til then….keep creating!

On the Other Side of Adventure

On 05/03/2013 / Journey of the Inner Wanna Be's, Long Way Home / 2 Comments

I am snuggling up at home these days, cats taking turns with my artist hubby for attention. I was gone from home for 3 weeks, a record for me. In my sleeping hours, I am still on a journey, trying to figure out where my bed is. I slept in so many, I think my body forgot which one was really mine!

I have a thousand stories floating around in my head, like wanting to share with you all the amazing people I met, unfinished poems about the beauty of America writing themselves on my heart, realizations I made about myself and my life along the way, and the freedom of living life a day at a time with few responsibilities. Some stories won’t get written because life tends to move faster than I can type, other stories will wait to be told for a day when they are more ripe.

For today, though, I want to share some of the pictures and a line or two to help you get a sense of them. My camera was my buddy for much of the trip. Sometimes I didn’t know why I was drawn to what I was, for whatever reason, it interested me. Some pictures were taken from my car en route, most through the windshield. They are a quick way to share my journey….enJOY!

america's heartland

Some of my favorite images on the trip were of the farmland and barns. They reminded me of my youth, my family roots, my mother’s love of working close to the Earth, and of the origins of the food that finds it way to my plate. Driving through so much of America’s heartland felt like living a moving prayer of gratitude.

The soft grass and skeletal structure of plant life displayed the artistic hand that nature paints with. My eyes were overcome with 3000 miles of beauty.

I was fascinated with bridges during the trip. This one crosses the Mississippi into Memphis.

This bridge is from Historic Route 66 in Oklahoma.

Lincoln Memorial Bridge on Illinois River….rainy day.

I was on the road when the attacks on Boston took place. I was staying with a sweet couple I met through AirBnB and feeling the stress of being far from home and family. The next day, my journey took a wrong turn which ended up with me pulling into the entrance of the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. I took it as an opportunity to show my gratitude for freedom and for those who have been part of weaving it together.

There are so many more pictures to show and stories to tell of my adventures on the road. But for now, I am working on getting back into the swing of home life again. That’s one thing I learned along the way, for sure. Life keeps moving and so do you! Make the best of where you are in the moment, know where you are headed and take with you the experience and grace of where you have been and remember…All is Well.

Keep creating!

Plant a Kiss, Too!

On 05/01/2013 / Spirit of Giving / 3 Comments

In the spirit of Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s work,18 bloggers set out to “Plant a Kiss” in the world on April 29. We each did something we thought would spread a little extra joy, color, connection, poetry, or magic in the world. Then we watched to see what would happen!

Today all of us are posting about that experience.

Plant a Kiss Blog Hop Party

This was my second Plant a Kiss celebration. Last year I met with a few local creatives to make a labyrinth on the beach for others to find. It was one of the highlights of 2012 for me. This year, I wanted my kiss to keep the same spirit of celebration but knew I would be celebrating on the coat tails of a long journey that took me up the middle of the U.S. and back again over three weeks. I made self-care a priority for the day, but balanced that with a deep desire to share myself with others in a meaningful way. Since GIFT is my word for the year, I wanted my Kiss to be about giving.

The target for sharing my kiss this year was on the other side of the North Atlantic Ocean in Guinea, West Africa. If you have looked around on my website, you may have discovered The Benkadi Project page I have dedicated to work being done in the capital city of Conakry and in rural villages there. I didn’t pick the Benkadi Project out of a book or by running my finger across a map to choose a place. I chose it because I met a man, Fodé Cameron, and a woman, Helen Bond, last Summer who are doing beautiful work there and I wanted to somehow be part of what they were doing.

On my trip to Wisconsin, I stayed with her….Helen Bond. As luck would have it, my travels took me to her area on a day when she was hosting an event to help build biosand filter units for families through her non-profit, The Benkadi Project. The event featured West African drumming and provided education about the work they were doing. The Benkadi Project was planting major kisses that night by being one shy of reaching their financial goal to build 50 units. The water treatment will serve 50 families of 10 people for 10 years. That is 1,825,000 days of clean drinking water. I adored getting to be part of that!

For Plant a Kiss Day, I celebrated the good will I got to be part of and sent well wishes in the form of a meditation to Helen and the team she will be taking to Guinea later this week. As part of my celebration, I lit a candle and spent some time playing a drum that was made by Fodé. I also spent the day drinking water mindfully, being grateful for the easy with which it arrives to me anytime I need it and for the fact that it is safe and satisfying.

This year’s Plant a Kiss was very simple, but I think that is the beauty of giving. It can be just a thought, a wish, a prayer or can be traveling across an ocean to make a difference. It is amazing the feeling of love it can bring to your heart when it is based in genuine caring. I think that is probably why it is called Plant a KISS.

If you found your way to this page or have been hopping along visiting others who are part of the Plant a Kiss party, I would like to encourage you to thing of some way you can Plant a Kiss, too. Close your eyes right now and invite a simple act of giving to come into your heart. Let your mind work out an easy way to implement that, then join us! Let’s make the world a bit love laden today.

If you would like to know more about The Benkadi Project, you can….

Get the Details of the Water Initiative

Follow Benkadi Project on Facebook

Become a Supporter

Read a Past Newsletter

Visit Plant a Kiss 2013 where you can find links to all of the participating bloggers and hop around to see how each woman was uniquely inspired to celebrate Plant a Kiss Day.

Special thanks to Sherry Richert Belul of Simply Celebrate for inviting me to be part of this event, I have felt blessed by it!

My Silent Passengers

On 04/28/2013 / Creative Confidence, Creative Courage, Long Way Home / 6 Comments

Today marks my 22nd day on the road. I am 5 hours from home by car, but sticking around Houston to offer a Sacred Cacao Ceremony to a gathering of creatives. The closer I get to home, the more homesick I grow, and yet…. I am still deeply engaged in the adventure.

One of the ways I am doing that is by processing the trip…especially the parts I just didn’t foresee. You see, even though I spent over two weeks of the trip driving by myself, I felt as if I had Silent Passengers. I never felt that I was alone.

Sometimes the Silent Passenger was my husband, even though he was at our home in South Texas when I up roaming in the Northern parts of the U.S. I found myself talking to him in my mind, pointing out landmarks, crazy cars, interesting signs, and public art.

Sometimes the Silent Passengers were my parents. My mom was the one I pointed out the prolific wildflowers to, who was beside me when I screamed with delight upon crossing the Mighty Mississippi for the first time since I was traveling to Kentucky with her at age five, and who I sang to while diving through the Ozarks by moonlight.

My dad traveled with me through Memphis. He visited the Sun Studio where Elvis changed music history, made the trek not far from there where Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. made his last speech and to where he took his last breath.

Most of the time, my Silent Passenger was YOU, dear tribe. I took you with me in my pocket, making wishes for your own life changing journeys, for moments where everything gets brighter than you have remembered it being in a long time, where you dare to take on the adventure that rises up out of the seat of your heart.

That is the best part of the journey of life, when we choose to live our loveliest lives, it blesses the masses. Every time we choose courage, it encourages another to think….perhaps I could. I wonder what my journey might inspire in you. Take me with you and let me be your Silent Passenger. I am ready!

On the Edge of the Woods

On 04/23/2013 / Journey of the Inner Wanna Be's, vlogs / 4 Comments

I have been visiting some amazing homes with even more amazing people. Each day that I share with someone, I just delight in the path that life can take us on. I am in St. Louis today, having just driven in last night from Marseilles, Illinois where I was staying with my artist-friend, Amy Cavaness.

Amy’s home is tucked away into a little patch of woods out in the country. Before I left, I made a video (below) in which I shared some of my thoughts about my Inner Gypsy Wild Woman and left an simple way for you to connect with your Inner Wanna Be. I would love to hear more about what wishes to share itself with the world. I can tell you from personal experience, it is liberating!

Did you know I have a YouTube Channel…..

Creativity Tribe on YouTube

Re-story-ing my Life

On 04/20/2013 / Creative Growth / 12 Comments

I made it up the middle of the country. I am sitting on beautiful Lake Geneva in Wisconsin, looking out the window at the Abbey Resort. The sky is light blue with puffy little clouds, the water simmers with a restless kind of calm. The trees outside my room (which are not a variety I am familiar with) have long strands of gold that hang from the limbs. At there base on the side where the morning sun has not yet reached, a light layer of snow snuggles around budding stalks of green that looks like it may be the beginnings of blooming bulbs.

I feel like I am blooming. The journey here has marinated my heart in a mix of stories from my past and about my future all while I live this new story in the present. I am learning so much about myself. I am falling so deeply in love with who I am that it scares me. Why is it that love can frighten us so.

I turned 44 a few days ago and as I have shared here before, I have been re-story-ing my life. When I was young, I lost my mother. She died at 45 and although I have tried to let that number mean nothing in my own life, it has some hold on me. This year I am bound and determined to make it a year I will never forget, so that even if nothing were to happen to me….and I believe on most levels that I will be just fine….I will have NO REGRETS. I will know I gave myself the callings of my heart whenever I could, that I connected deeply with the ones I loved and with the ones life put in my path. I will know I danced, I wrote, I played, prayed, and embraced joy at ever turn.

My word for the year is GIFT….and that is what I intend to be for others and myself this year.

I have more to share, but the day is so beautiful I just have to go embrace it.

I want to invite you to think about the story you are living in your life. What of it would you change if you could? Now, do one small thing to put that into action today. I am living this year as if it was my last so that I don’t have to be fearful that it might be. I encourage you to lean into life. If you are like me, you will find some peace in living life a bit more adventurously because you might find yourself taking it in more fully and deeply. Nothing ventured nothing gained? I am venuring!!!

When Life Makes Other Plans

On 04/15/2013 / Creative Growth, Journey of the Inner Wanna Be's / Leave a comment

Today marks a week that I have been on the road making my way from South Texas to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for the Creatives Celebrating Sisterhood Art Retreat. I will be teaching a workshop at the retreat called Passport to Dreams Come True. The workshop takes mixed media techniques and blends them with bookmaking, journaling, creative visualization as a means of helping flesh out the vision and plans of our big hearts. Not surprisingly, as is the case often in life, my journey cross country is giving me lots of lessons to prepare me for helping others make their dreams a reality.

One of the dilemmas that comes out of saying we want to attract or create something in our lives is that life is good at throwing you a ringer. We say to ourselves, “I want to accomplish XYZ, and I can see that if I do A+B+C that will get me there.” Then, life alters the equation, and we are left trying to get things balanced without losing our original goal.

I started my trip out with destinations along the way up to Wisconsin. First a few stops in Texas, then Oklahoma. When I got to Oklahoma there was some trouble in paradise. Something in my suspension went haywire. I was bouncing an grooving all over the road. No, fun. I questioned if I should get it fixed, give up and turn back. That is when I called on my Inner Wanna Be….the Gypsy Wild Woman.

I asked myself how she would manage this. In my imagination a gypsy carries their home with them. There would be no reason to turn back because where they were is where they should be. I also imagined she wouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. And so I did. And the world responded with generosity. My timeline was altered slightly, but in the end, I was able to get to my next destination.

The journey didn’t look like I thought it would. I imagined I would travel during the day with plenty of time to rest and with the option to look around the next new place before turning in. Instead, I traveled at night with rain and lightening clearing the way for me. I drove safely but didn’t stop very often because I felt a pull to get in and get settled. Although that may sound frantic, it wasn’t. I had plenty of good tunes to keep me company.

Behind the scenes, too, I was not alone. I think this is going to be the big lesson of this journey I am taking by myself. I am never alone really. The day I was trying to get my car fixed, one thing after another put off the work. It was my birthday, and I asked friends and family….and the Creativity Tribe Facebook Page gathering…..to focus my birthday wishes on getting it fixed and me safely to my next destination. They did. And I made it.

At breakfast this morning at the Walnut Street Inn in downtown Springfield, Missouri, I was greeted by 9 couples who travel B and B’s yearly. ”Are you Rachél?” they asked. I was delighted, a room full of strangers who knew my name. ”We were looking for you last night.” My heart was warmed. Never alone.

And so, today starts out with a meet-up that happened spontaneously through the Creativity Tribe FB page. Here in Springfield, I am meeting with Ginger Davis Allman with The Blue Bottle Tree . Then, I leave for St. Louis where I will stay with someone I have never met through AirBnB. I am expecting to feel that same sense of welcoming from the world each day and to give it where it is needed. I think my Gypsy Wild Woman makes her way through life like that. It isn’t part of the journey I expected, but I am delighting in it, leaning into it, and loving it…..even when, and especially when life makes other plans.

Follow my travels more closely by joining me on the Creativity Tribe Facebook Page.

Rachel_Payne

What is a Goddess….

On 04/12/2013 / Challenges, Creative Growth, Guest Blogger, Mixed Media Art / Leave a comment

Recently, I joined a brilliant gathering of women in co-creating The Goddess Chronicles: A Traveling Art Journal. The mixed media, multi-country journal is the brain-child (perhaps that should be heart-child) of Texas artist (and world traveler) Sofia Dabalsa. Sofia and I met on-line while taking Flying Lessons with Kelly Rae Roberts. Not long after the class ended, we arranged a meet-up and have been cultivating a friendship ever-since.

Texas Fly Girls: That’s Sofia in the middle with the beautiful, long, curly hair and me in the green. We are joined from left to right by Christina Fajardo, Ann Marie, Amy Hillenbrand, Rose Duncan, and Lisa Stamper Meyer. Christina and Rose are also part of the Goddess Chronicles.

Being part of the Goddess Chronicles is one of those game-changers for me, the way Flying Lessons was. I have always been comfortable with the word goddess, but I know lots of people who aren’t. They struggle with it’s alignment to a form of deity. I took that to heart when I joined the project. Latching onto it gave me the opportunity to figure out how to make the word safer for others while still being true to myself. Certainly my intent would not be to convert someone to my way of thinking, simply hold up a mirror so that the word might be reflected in a new light.

Another part of the project that drew me in was the fact that The Goddess Chronicles will eventually make it’s home at Girls Inc. in San Antonio, Texas. My friend Rhonda Wilson Williamson is President/CEO, so contributing to the girls she works with brought the intention close to my heart.

When it came time for me to do my page (which I can’t show you because the project may potentially go to publication…..but a good story will potentially satisfy your curiosity) I contemplated those people who might not get the Goddess thing and tried to put myself in the shoes of the girls who would ultimately take possession of it. I kept thinking…What is a goddess anyway? Over and over the answer came….Just another name for woman.

It is simple and profound all in the same utterance. The word lets us know that we are special, that we have always been enough, that we don’t have to try to be more. We are enough today. We were enough yesterday. We are enough at our best, and enough in our worst moment. Always enough. It also informs us that goddess is common and universal…not touchable, but everyday. When I say everyday, though, I mean it as it refers to all the beauty of what woman is. Beauty in her simplicity, authenticity, and in her the complex intricacies she exudes. What a paradox, woman…what a paradox, goddess.

Lastly, the pages I offered for The Goddess Chronicles: A Traveling Art Journal became a reminder to myself of how precious I am. Everyday I have the opportunity to honor the goddess I am. I honor her by creating a life worthy of the divine-feminine in me. I honor her by being in my power when others need the gifts I have to offer and especially when others are in their own power. I honor her in small ways, like mindfully choosing how I talk to myself, and in the big ways like making self-care and self-love the standard of living that I set for myself.

The Goddess Chronicles isn’t just about me, though. It is packed full of amazing women. I would like to invite you to get to know them…be inspired by them, and maybe along the way you might make friends with the goddess in YOU. Sofia is featuring the goddesses on her blog so you can do just that. This week I was one of the featured artists. I would love for you to stop by and support Sofia and what she is doing. She proudly sports the Creativity Tribe badge, so feel free to let here know you dance to the same groove!

My Feature on Sofia’s Blog

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Blog

Mother’s Day: By Nature or Nurture

What If This is Life’s Biggest Lesson?!

Surprise Birthday Gifts

On the Other Side of Adventure

Plant a Kiss, Too!

My Silent Passengers

On the Edge of the Woods

Re-story-ing my Life

When Life Makes Other Plans

What is a Goddess….

Join Creativity Tribe

You don’t have to leave home to go on a meaningful journey!

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Indulge YOUR Senses!….. Resumes in May

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Join Creativity Tribe

You don’t have to leave home to go on a meaningful journey!

Inspire Your Inner Wanna Be

Indulge YOUR Senses!….. Resumes in May

sponsors & products

I am a ABLA Member!

New Specials Available!

Search the Archives

Archive

Latest Posts

This SENSE-sational Life

Next Creativity Tribe Event

Life Coach & Creativity Mentor